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Aeon: Bleeding the false

09/02/11  ||  Daemonomania

How can you not like Aeon? Are you seriously so jaded from listening to death metal for the last 1,000 years that a derivative but well-done album causes you to whine like a xtian bitch? Does every single band have to incorporate a billion progressive elements and deep lyrics about harlequin forests for you to appreciate them? Bah. Really no reason to ask these questions – if your nose is that far up in the air you won’t smell the good shit anyway. Douche.

If you’re still here, that means that you can enjoy Aeon for what they do. Which is play Deicide-style DM light on insight and heavy on groove. I just bought this fucker, and it is already one of the most rhythmically pleasing discs in my collection. Piles upon piles of drum-based beatings and breakdowns aplenty. Most songs conjure images of a pagan giant lumbering across the Scandinavian countryside and demolishing churches with a huge stone hammer. Aaaargh. Yaaaargh. And so on.

Not much more to say on the subject, really. I don’t need to introduce Aeon because they have a forum here. I don’t need to talk about what they do that’s new because they don’t do anything new. I don’t need to say they’re technically proficient because they’re from Sweden, buttnugget. And there’s no need to quote the lyrical content that’s in English as broken as the bedraggled corpse of your savior upon his worthless cross. BOW YOUR HEAD to the Grvm Hvrned Gvatlvrd. For my money, that track and “Forever nailed” are champs amongst a lot of sweet sweet tunes.

Could I possibly close out this review discussing the alternate rendition of “God gives head in heaven”? Nyet. What a great idea to finish off an albumload ‘o Christ-punching, Satan-fingering DM with a nicely done piece of modern radio country mockery. Like “Big bottom”, we’re talking metalhumor of the aeternal variety – consistently funny and offensive (to other people) in equal measure.

Stop being a sleeve of wizard and buy yourself “Bleeding the false”. It won’t widen your metallic horizons, but it will stab you repeatedly in your weepy religious scrotum. You’ll learn that God is gay, and might just find out something about Lucifer too.

8,5

  • Information
  • Released: 2005
  • Label: Unique Leader
  • Website: www.aeon666.com
  • Band
  • Tommy Dahlström: vocals
  • Johan Hjelm: bass
  • Nils Fjellström: drums
  • Zeb Nilsson: guitars
  • Daniel Dlimi: guitars
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Cenobites
  • 02. Soulburner
  • 03. Morbid Desire to Burn
  • 04. Biblewhore
  • 05. Forever Nailed
  • 06. Satanic Victory
  • 07. Enchanter
  • 08. Bleeding the False
  • 09. Doorknocker
  • 10. Bow Your Head
  • 11. I Hate Your Existence
  • 12. God Gives Head in Heaven
  • 13. Hell Unleashed
  • 14. (and some hidden excellence)
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